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Sermons

Three Simple Rules: Do Good

2/24/2019

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Scripture Lesson: Ephesians 2:1-10
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At one time you were like a dead person because of the things you did wrong and your offenses against God. 2 You used to live like people of this world. You followed the rule of a destructive spiritual power. This is the spirit of disobedience to God’s will that is now at work in persons whose lives are characterized by disobedience. 3 At one time you were like those persons. All of you used to do whatever felt good and whatever you thought you wanted so that you were children headed for punishment just like everyone else.
4-5 However, God is rich in mercy. He brought us to life with Christ while we were dead as a result of those things that we did wrong. He did this because of the great love that he has for us. You are saved by God’s grace! 6 And God raised us up and seated us in the heavens with Christ Jesus. 7 God did this to show future generations the greatness of his grace by the goodness that God has shown us in Christ Jesus.
8 You are saved by God’s grace because of your faith.[a] This salvation is God’s gift. It’s not something you possessed. 9 It’s not something you did that you can be proud of. 10 Instead, we are God’s accomplishment, created in Christ Jesus to do good things. God planned for these good things to be the way that we live our lives.
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Today, our denomination is meeting for a special called General Conference in St. Louis, MO for the purposes of praying, listening, discerning and ultimately deciding what our denomination’s policy will be regarding the ordination and marriage of LGBTQ persons. This is a debate that our denomination has been having for 47 years, ever since the language was added to our Book of Disciple that “homosexuality is not compatible with Christian teaching.” I’ve spoken already about the ways that faithful, Bible-reading Christians can read the handful of scriptures that reference what we now call homosexuality and, with reason, tradition, experience and examination in the light of Jesus’ teachings on love, can come to a different interpretation of these scriptures than others, who hold to a more literal interpretation.

​For the weeks surrounding our general conference, I wanted to lead us through a short study of the General Rules of the United Methodist Church, some of the foundational theology around which our denomination was formed. Last week, we learned about how John Wesley, son of an Anglican priest, and himself a priest in the Anglican Church, had an encounter with a group of Moravian Christians that led to a period of soul-searching, and eventually a change in heart about his faith. Unlike the very methodical faith he learned to practice, the Moravians seemed to be experiencing joy, peace and assurance even in the face of challenges that John Wesley had not experienced. In a journal he explained that though he tried to be good, he continually failed, and eventually concluded that he lacked saving faith, saying, “I was indeed fighting continually, but not conquering. … I fell and rose, and fell again.” On May 24, 1738, he had an experience that completely changed his faith. In his journal he wrote,

          In the evening I went very unwillingly to a society in Aldersgate Street, where one       was reading [Martin] Luther’s preface to the Epistle to the Romans. About a quarter before nine, while he was describing the change which God works in the heart through faith in Christ, I felt my heart strangely warmed. I felt I did trust in Christ, Christ alone, for salvation; and an assurance was given me that He had taken away my sins, even mine, and saved me from the law of sin and death.

This experience led to a reawakening of John Wesley’s faith, and to a movement of preaching which led hundreds of England’s working-class poor to hear and respond to the gospel. John Wesley began organizing these new Christians into Methodist Societies, and it was to these small communities of faith that he gave the General Rules:

  • First: do no harm, by avoiding evil of every kind
  • Second: do good, "of every possible sort, and as far as possible, to all;"
  • Third: practice "the ordinances of God," or engage in individual and communal spiritual practices such as prayer, Bible reading, worship and the Lord's Supper

All three of these rules were meant to help these new Christians to be able to live out, in practical ways, Jesus’ command to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your mind” and to “love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:36-40)

Last week, we explored the first rule, to do no harm, which requires us to think not only about the more obvious commandments such as, do not kill, do not steal, do not commit adultery, or worship idols, but also those things that may cause unintentional harm. Some of these may be on a larger scale, such as consumer practices that contribute to environmental harm, systemic poverty or racism; as well as on a more individual scale, such as withholding God’s love and grace from others, speaking ill of others, or refusing to give or accept forgiveness. We also have to be aware that sometimes, our actions may even cause ourselves harm.

So the next rule, then is to do good. John Wesley lived by a personal motto which says, “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can." Once John Wesley had his “Aldersgate moment” he realized that he had previously been trying to earn his salvation; that if he just prayed more, read scripture more often, and tried harder to be good, that he would somehow feel God’s grace as more real. Once he experienced God’s grace shed abroad in his heart, he realized that he had gotten it all backwards – that God’s grace comes first, and that everything we do once we awaken to God’s grace in our lives is in response to that grace.

In our scripture lesson today, Paul made that same point to the new Christians in Ephesus. Chapter 2, verses 8-10 says, “You are saved by God’s grace because of your faith. This salvation is God’s gift. It’s not something you possessed. It’s not something you did that you can be proud of. Instead, we are God’s accomplishment, created in Christ Jesus to do good things. God planned for these good things to be the way that we live our lives.” John Wesley eventually came to believe that God’s prevenient grace is present in our lives from the very beginning. Before we are even aware of it, God is loving us unconditionally, and wooing us, inviting us to draw close to God, to love God in return. It’s there with us, even in the darkest times, just waiting for us to turn around and recognize it and accept it. Wesley calls this the Awakening or Convicting Grace – when we, like he did at Aldersgate, realize God’s loving presence in our lives and our hearts are ‘strangely warmed’ – when we, too, say yes to a relationship with God. Then, Wesley says that we begin our journey of transformation, of becoming sanctified and going on toward Christian perfection – of living out our lives in response to that saving grace that we couldn’t earn. So good works are not to earn our salvation with God, but to say thank you to God, and to become the vessel for God’s grace to reach others.

John Wesley had a heart for the poor, the sick and those in prison. And he encouraged those in the Methodist societies to live out their faith by doing good to the least, the lonely and the lost. Today we see that in addition to those living in poverty, there are others who are living on the margins of society who long for expressions of God’s love in their lives, as well. Those who are caught in addiction, those who are unwelcome and unaccepted because of their race, religion or sexual orientation, and those who are fleeing violence and abuse. Our response to God’s grace is what Wesley called acts of mercy – unselfish acts of love that bless others with wanting recognition or anything in return; giving grace upon grace to others.

I’ve known self-professed Christians who seem to believe that as long as their own heart is right with God, and they avoid doing evil themselves, then they are doing all that is ‘required’ of their faith. In other words, they believe their faith is limited to a personal relationship with Jesus. But over and over again in the gospels, we see that Jesus, too, has a heart for blessing those who were excluded from the religious community of his day – those who were considered ‘unclean’ due to illness, injury and disease, those who were considered ‘other’ because of their gender or ethnicity, those who were considered ‘less than’ because of economic or social status. Jesus demonstrated that being his disciple included acts of mercy such as feeding the hungry, giving water to the thirsty, clothing the poor, and visiting the sick and those in prison (Matthew 25: 35-36).

John Wesley knew that people’s real-life needs had to be addressed in order for them to believe the good news he was preaching. In his own experience of trying to practice a self-focused faith, where his intention was on personal piety, or personal righteousness, his faith remained cold and he felt distant from God. But when he experienced God’s grace as something he could never earn, something he didn’t deserve, and something that came from God’s unconditional love, he was moved to share this same grace, this same love with others. And it moved him to have compassion on others, to do all he could to bless them so they would come to know this overwhelming love of God, as well.

We were created to do good in response to God’s love. Jesus demonstrated a real-life way to bless others. So the question to us today is, how are we doing in responding to God’s love in our lives? Are we out there, sharing it by feeding the poor, clothing the needy? Are we visiting the sick and the lonely and those imprisoned, whether in a literal prison or a prison of their mind or bodies? Are we doing all we can, in all the ways we can, in all the places we can to bless others?

Our denomination is at a crossroad. We don’t know what will ultimately be decided this week. But as individuals, and as part of this community of faith called Maple Grove, we can decide that our way of living will be one that seeks to do no harm, and one that does as much good to others as possible. Whether or not we remain United as Methodists, our faith and understanding of God’s grace has been shaped in a way that calls us to look outside of our church walls to those in our community who need someone to share with them that God is already with them, already loving them, already beside them with arms wide open, waiting for the day when they turn around and recognize that love, and accept that grace to transform their lives. But how will they know unless we tell them, and show them?

We know that our culture is changing in a way that makes it much more difficult for families and young professionals to attend church on Sundays. That’s part of the reason why I am exploring possibilities for new expressions of faith in our community. I’ve invited some of you to begin a weekly bible study with me over lent to begin discerning what these expressions may look like. But I want to invite all of you to begin praying daily for this effort. How will the 60% of our community who are unchurched or dechurched come to know the amazing love of God? It’s up to us. Pray also that God will lead you to personal ways that you can bless others. Our faith isn’t something we get to keep to ourselves – it is meant to be lived in such a way that others see the difference God’s grace has made in our lives, and that changes the way we treat others; it is meant to be shared with those who are walking through struggles in their lives, and those who have been marginalized because of status, race, religion, orientation, or other things that leave them less than, lonely and lost.

In Bishop Rueben Job’s book, Three Simple Rules, he writes, “I do not need to wait until circumstances cry out for aid to relieve suffering or correct some horrible injustice. I can decide that my way of living will come down on the side of doing good to all in every circumstance and in every way I can." (Job, Rueben P.. Three Simple Rules. Abingdon Press.) In other words, do good NOW. Love others NOW. And if you have never turned around and recognized God’s grace in your life – if you want to say ‘yes’ to accepting God’s grace to transform you into a disciple of Jesus who lives your life in response to this grace by loving God with your heart, your soul, your mind, your strength, and by loving your neighbors as yourself, then respond to God NOW.

John Wesley’s brother Charles, also a priest in the Anglican church had a similar change of heart and faith. And he wrote a beautiful hymn that captures these experiences they and other new Christians have described. The fourth stanza says,

          Long my imprisoned spirit lay
          Fast bound in sin and nature's night;
          Thine eye diffused a quick'ning ray,
          I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
          My chains fell off, my heart was free;
          I rose, went forth and followed Thee.
          Amazing love! how can it be
          That Thou, my God, should die for me!

God’s amazing grace – freely given and present with us all our lives – is calling us to be people who seek to do no harm and to do good. Let’s look for ways that we can share God’s love this week. Do good NOW. Bless others NOW. And share God’s amazing love with every person you meet. Amen.
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Three Simple Rules: First, Do No Harm

2/20/2019

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Romans 12:9-18  (CEB)
9 Love should be shown without pretending. Hate evil, and hold on to what is good. 10 Love each other like the members of your family. Be the best at showing honor to each other. 11 Don’t hesitate to be enthusiastic—be on fire in the Spirit as you serve the Lord! 12 Be happy in your hope, stand your ground when you’re in trouble, and devote yourselves to prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of God’s people, and welcome strangers into your home. 14 Bless people who harass you—bless and don’t curse them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and cry with those who are crying. 16 Consider everyone as equal, and don’t think that you’re better than anyone else. Instead, associate with people who have no status. Don’t think that you’re so smart. 17 Don’t pay back anyone for their evil actions with evil actions, but show respect for what everyone else believes is good. 18 If possible, to the best of your ability, live at peace with all people.

Romans 13:8-10 (CEB)
8 Don’t be in debt to anyone, except for the obligation to love each other. Whoever loves another person has fulfilled the Law. 9 The commandments, Don’t commit adultery, don’t murder, don’t steal, don’t desire what others have, and any other commandments, are all summed up in one word: You must love your neighbor as yourself. 10 Love doesn’t do anything wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is what fulfills the Law.
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​There is a quote attributed to Mahatma Ghandi that says, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” Can’t we all think of at least one person we have known who was extremely religious, but not very nice? I saw a meme on the internet this week that said, “God’s truths are not bricks to throw at people. They are bread to feed people.” We’re beginning a three-week study today of the United Methodist General Rules – the three guiding principles by which Methodists, and all Christians, really, are encouraged to use to guide their words and deeds in order to follow Jesus’s commandment to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your mind” and to “love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:36-40)
 
These general rules came to us from John Wesley who formed the Methodist movement within the Church of England in the early 1700’s. As a priest in the Anglican Church, John Wesley and his brother Charles were asked to be part of a mission to the American colony of Georgia. Things didn’t exactly go well, and they returned to England with their faith shaken. But during their travels, they met a group of Moravian immigrants whose assurance of faith made a lasting impression on John. After that, he began having regular conversations with a man named Peter Böhler about Moravian spirituality, which included the belief that Christians have an assurance of faith experienced as love, peace, and joy. Those emotions were not part of the methodical faith that the Wesley brothers knew, but John became consumed with these ideas, and poured through the Bible for evidence of Böhler’s claims.
 
Eventually, both brothers came to know this faith for themselves, each of them describing a particular moment when God’s Spirit touched their heart. In a journal, John Wesley wrote:
 
In the evening I went very unwillingly to a society in Aldersgate Street, where one was        reading [Martin] Luther’s preface to the Epistle to the Romans. About a before nine, while he was describing the change which God works in the heart through faith in Christ, I felt my heart strangely warmed. I felt I did trust in Christ, Christ alone, for salvation; and an assurance was given me that He had taken away my sins, even mine, and saved me from the law of sin and death.
 
Even though John Wesley was the son of a preacher and grew up in a devoutly religious home, the dynamic connection to God that he made at Aldersgate was new to him. Dale Patterson, General Commission on [United Methodist] Archives and History explains that this led to a complete re-thinking, or re-framing of faith. He says, “I think he came to his adulthood with one particular concept of how the religious life should work for him. And I think that’s what he had to relearn. He had initially planned to live life in a certain way and that was going to make a great relationship with God. And what Aldersgate taught him was he had to flip it. He’d gotten, unintentionally, the cart before the horse.”
 
The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I think it is important to realize that the church we know as the United Methodist Church might not even exist if John Wesley, an Anglican priest who thought he had God and religion all figured out, had not been willing to question what he was taught, and have Spirit-led conversations with others whose faith seemed to be producing fruit that his did not, and then to be willing to open his mind and his heart to experiencing God in a new way. In fact, once he did have that “Aldersgate moment” he was so on fire for preaching and sharing his experience and his new-found faith with others that he, in effect, started a religious revival! As people heard him preaching and became Christians, he began forming them into societies, similar to the Moravians that we might call today, churches or communities of faith. Then within those, he formed them into small classes and bands, which we might call Sunday School and small groups. It was to these societies, who met weekly for the purpose of instruction and prayer, that he wrote the general rules as a way to give them real-world guidelines to help them live out their new faith.
 
These “General Rules” were:
  • First: do no harm, by avoiding evil of every kind
  • Second: do good, "of every possible sort, and as far as possible, to all;"
  • Third: practice "the ordinances of God," or engage in individual and communal spiritual practices such as prayer, Bible reading, worship and the Lord's Supper

These rules still exist in our Book of Discipline and are part of the foundational documents for our denomination. In other words, these rules are just as relevant for those of us today who are seeking to pattern our life after Jesus’s commandment to love God and love our neighbor.
 
Former Iowa Bishop Reuben Job wrote a very short and simple book about these three “simple” but challenging rules, because he saw the signs that American Christianity, including those in the United Methodist Church, seemed to be reverting to a practice of Sunday-morning religion that didn’t necessarily make its way into our daily living the rest of the week. In his book he asks a series of questions that I would ask us to consider today: “Those who seek to follow Jesus must be asking if this is the way Christians are to live. Are we really measuring up to our calling as children of God? Is there a better way for us to practice our faith? A way so simple and substantial that none are turned away and all are able to practice as together we engage in our quest for faithful living? Do we look at one another and see movement toward our oneness in Christ? Do others look at us and see God at work in our life together? Is our way of living life-giving rather than life-draining? Is our way of living one that will enhance the quality of life of each of us for as long as we live?” (Job, Rueben P.. Three Simple Rules. Abingdon Press.)
 
Wow. Those are convicting questions, aren’t they? A simple way, but not an easy way. But a way that can show God to those who don’t know God, a way that gives life instead of draining it, and a way that actually makes the quality of life better for everyone! That’s a life I want. So how do we do it? First, do no harm.
 
What does it mean to live life in a way that does no harm? In the medical community, when a person’s life can literally be in the hands of a medical professional, the healer has taken an oath to first do no harm. That means on purpose, or accidental. I all of us can easily think of ways that we can intentionally do harm to others. If you’re having trouble with this, think of the ten commandments: Thou shalt not… what? Murder. Commit adultery. Steal. Take the Lord’s name in vain. Be envious of your neighbor, or give a false witness against them. And there is an entire theology based on this type of doing no harm, called deontology, based on the Greek root deon which means duty, or obligation. It’s a way of thinking of morality as defined by behaviors that are considered evil, no matter what. In other word, there’s a list of “thou shalt not’s” and it’s pretty black-and-white. Where this begins to break down, in my opinion, is that if one lives their life only in terms of not doing the “bad things” does that make them a good, moral person? And even if they do things that are technically “not bad” but that in some way causes harm to another person, is that okay? Jesus himself seems to challenge this way of thinking when he says in Matthew 5, “You have heard it said ‘don’t commit murder; don’t commit adultery’” … “but I say to you that everyone who is angry with their brother or sister will be in danger of judgment; that every man who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart.” (Matthew 5: 21-22, 27-28) So there can even be thoughts and attitudes that can be harmful, and that’s not so black-and-white.
 
So there’s another theology that is based more on the idea that we are all moving toward God’s divine purpose for our lives and for all of creation, and that’s called teleology, based on the Greek root telos, which we’ve already discussed means purpose, or end result. And in this theology, instead of saying, well, here’s a list of bad behaviors to avoid, it asks instead to consider the ramifications of everything you do so that it is always in alignment with movement toward God’s kingdom goals of reconciliation and restoring everyone and everything to its intended wholeness. So in this spirit, we can begin to think of our actions in terms of whether they cause harm.
 
Let’s think about big-picture things for a moment, like the environment. Scientists are warning us that our earth is getting warmer which is creating devastating changes in climate, that deforestation and other agricultural practices are putting the environment and some species at risk, and that globally our use of fossil fuels are contributing to the larger issue of climate change. So one way to do no harm in light of these areas of concern would be to think about the ways we may be part of the problem instead of the solution. Our denomination’s social principles state that it is “the responsibility of the church and its members to place a high priority on changes in economic, political, social, and technological lifestyles to support a more ecologically equitable and sustainable world leading to a higher quality of life for all of God’s creation.” Some simple ways to do this might be to turn off the lights when you leave the room, or not to let water run while you’re brushing your teeth. But we can take other steps like only purchasing eco-friendly materials that are recyclable or that did not come to us from practices that are harmful to the environment. The UMC and the UMW has lots of information on their websites about ways that we can be intentional in doing no further harm to God’s creation.
 
Another big picture concern might be poverty. Are there things you and I do that contribute to global or US poverty? Are there ways we are causing harm to those struggling to get by on less than a living wage? To answer this question, we may need to educate ourselves more about the factors that contribute to poverty, or the practices of the places where we shop and do business. For example, one of my best friends is married to the president of a local auto worker’s union. And through them, I have learned that there are many workers in the US who are working multiple jobs because some corporations make it their practice to hire the majority of their workforce as part-time employees, thereby saving millions if not billions of dollars by not having to provide health insurance. So when people cannot find gainful employment because we give our business to corporations who don’t pay their workers fairly, are we causing harm? My friend and her husband have made the decision that in addition to working within the political system to try to increase minimum wages or improve employee benefits, they will also no longer shop at or support corporations that treat their employees poorly, even though it means driving out of the way or paying a higher price for household items or groceries.
 
These two issues might give us pause to consider other big issues such as refugee and immigration policy, systemic racism, gun laws and a whole list of other policies that can have a negative impact on people’s quality of life. As followers of Jesus, are we spending time thinking about the big ways that our actions can unintentionally cause or contribute harm?
 
On a different scale, there are ways that even religious systems can cause harm. Going back to the theological arguments I outlined earlier, John Wesley became convinced that the best way to live out our faith was not to emphasize one way over the other, but to strive for both personal holiness and social justice. That means that when we’re making our decisions about what we say, how we behave, what and from where we make our purchases, and every other conscious decision we make, we should strive to do no harm. I have had countless conversations with people over the years who have been harmed by some of those in the “moralistic behavior-driven” camp. Some Christians, and groups within church systems have become so narrowly focused on certain behaviors, such as abortion and homosexuality, that their words and actions seem more like those bricks being hurled at others, instead of trying to build relationships where space is given for the grace of God. I am sure there are issues over which we do not all think the same. We’ve had different experiences and we’ve been created uniquely with different ways of learning and seeing and interpreting our world. But our God is so big that I don’t think any one of us knows God or God’s intentions completely. So while we may not always agree about everything, I hope that we can always leave space for God’s grace to cover both of our shortcomings and the realm of things that we cannot know.
 
As John Wesley was forming his religious societies, he spoke out quite boldly about what he called religious bigotry, and had this to say: “Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike? May we not be of one heart, though we are not of one opinion? Without all doubt, we may. Herein all the children of God may unite, notwithstanding these smaller differences. These remaining as they are, they may forward one another in love and in good works.”
 
Our denomination is headed to a special called General Conference next week to try to find a way forward even among the varying opinions over human sexuality. Our Methodist church has been here before. We’ve had similar disagreements over the issue of slavery in America, and over the ordination of women. In one case, the divide was so deep that those within the denomination chose to split. In 1884, we became the Methodist Episcopal Church, and the Methodist Episcopal Church South. We stayed divided until 1939, and then joined with the Evangelical United Brethren to form the United Methodist Church in 1968. Interestingly enough, we’ve been having this same argument since language was added to our Book of Discipline in 1972.
 
Originally, in the Social Principles was a statement that read, “Homosexuals no less than heterosexuals are persons of sacred worth, who need the ministry and guidance of the church in their struggles for human fulfillment, as well as the spiritual and emotional care of a fellowship which enables reconciling relationships with God, with others and with self. Further, we insist that all persons are entitled to have their human and civil rights ensured.” Someone at the 1972 General Conference wanted to know what it meant for ‘homosexuals to have their human and civil rights ensured,’ and that question lead the addition of this statement: “The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and considers this practice incompatible with Christian teaching.”
 
44 years later, we are still debating this question. And here’s what I personally know: I personally know people, young and old, who were raised to know and love God, and who have dedicated their lives to Jesus Christ and to following his way, and who have experienced and strived to follow a call by God to a vocation of ministry. And these individuals who show the Spirit-produced fruits in their lives and ministry are the same as me except, they identify as LGBTQ. Most of them have said they knew this about themselves from a very early age, that it was not a choice – and that if it was, they wouldn’t have chosen it. Nevertheless, they have been formed in the faith the same way many of us have been, and yet there are those who want to debate whether they are incompatible with Christian teaching. Real harm has been done to these individuals by having debates about them instead of with them, by hurling hurtful words that demean and deny, by kicking them out of congregations and even families – this is not Christian behavior, no matter what the issue is. No matter what we may believe about another person, Jesus encouraged us to love our neighbors and even those we would consider enemies. Paul’s letters to the church in Rome, from which our scriptures today come, implore Christ-followers to show love without pretending, to treat each other as members of your own family, to welcome strangers, and to bless people – bless and not curse them – to consider everyone as equal, and even to show respect for what everyone else believes is good; and, as much as it depends on you, live at peace with all people. (Romans 12:9-18)
 
I don’t know what will happen next week. I but I do know what I hope happens here at Maple Grove. I hope that we are a church that will be known in this community – not because we have a historic building or a new building – but because we show love to our neighbors. I hope that we will be known as that group of Christians who get involved in our neighborhood elementary school and who make friends with the families who live nearby, and who show radical welcome and care to everyone they meet. I hope that we are known as the church who loves its neighbors – no exceptions; where everyone is welcome – everyone; and where there is genuine care and concern and meaningful relationships; a church where everyone belongs.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Bishop Job: “To do no harm means that I will be on guard so that all my actions and even my silence will not add injury to another of God's children or to any part of God's creation. As did John Wesley and those in the early Methodist movement before me, I too will determine every day that my life will always be invested in the effort to bring healing instead of hurt; wholeness instead of division; and harmony with the ways of Jesus rather than with the ways of the world. When I commit myself to this way, I must see each person as a child of God—a recipient of love unearned, unlimited, and undeserved—just like myself. And it is this vision of every other person as the object of God's love and deep awareness that I too live in that loving Presence that can hold me accountable to my commitment to do no harm.” (Job, Rueben P.. Three Simple Rules. Abingdon Press.)

​May it be so.
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Fear of Change

2/10/2019

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Scripture Readings: Psalm 46; Matthew 6:25-34;
​2 Corinthians 4:6-10, 16-18

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Today we’re concluding our series called, “Unafraid: Living with Courage and Hope.” Throughout this series, we’ve learned a little about how our brains are designed with a kind of alarm system, a “fight or flight” response to perceived dangers, that help keep us safe; and we’ve also learned that our imaginations, past experiences, or messages we’ve received over time can sometimes set off our fear response over something that hasn’t and probably won’t happen, or that we can get into a practice of catastrophizing, and letting our minds play out worst case scenarios as gospel truth. These types of fears are unhealthy in that they may keep us from experiencing peace, they may cause us to think or behave in unhealthy ways, and they may rob us of joy!

In the face of these fears, we’ve read scriptures that remind us that God is always with us, even in the midst of our fears. And that sometimes, like David facing Goliath, facing the thing we’re afraid of, with God’s help, can be a courageous step toward overcoming that fear. We’ve also reminded ourselves that we live in an era where the 24/7 media cycle and year-round political pundits have learned that fear is the most convincing tactic to sell their news or win your vote. So they convince us to be fearful of violence and crime, when we’re actually living in one of the safest periods of human history. And they convince us that our differences are dangerous, which preys of our fears of others. But we were reminded that in the gospel, Jesus was recorded spending time with those who were feared and marginalized by religion and society and that Jesus gave a startling interpretation of God’s commandment to love not only your neighbor, but also your enemy. We also spent some time talking about the way our fears, especially those based on thinking the worst about ourselves, or others, can sometimes lead us to withdraw from others, leaving us isolated and lonely. But that the best way for overcoming these fears is to dwell on God’s unconditional love for us, and to hold those negative thoughts under the loving gaze of God until we can trust in a loving relationship with God, which can lead us to trust opening ourselves to being in relationships with others. Last week we learned that sometimes our fears can weigh us down, or hold us back from finding meaning and purpose in life, or from following God’s call on our life. Like Moses, there are times when we’d rather take the path of least resistance. And we heard that for many of our young people today, there is such a fear of failing, not fitting in, or of being only average, that the pressure can become debilitating. But that God reminds us to be strong and courageous because God will be with us whatever we do, and wherever we go.

Today, we’re going to deal with one more of our common fears, and that is the fear of change. You’ve probably heard some of these sayings about change: “The only thing that is constant is change.”  “If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” (Gail Sheehy) “Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.” (Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley) “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” (James Baldwin) Sometimes change can be exciting, like looking forward to a promotion at work or getting out of your comfort zone to taste new foods, or experience new cultures. But it’s probably safe to say that for some reason, most of us humans don’t like change very much! Psychologists say that it’s because those complex brains of ours have a need to know – that we are hardwired to resist uncertainty, and that our brains actually prefer a predictable negative outcome over any uncertain one. In other words, there’s a reason why some people stay in jobs or other situations that make them miserable instead of looking for something better; it’s that old saying, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” But the good news is that our brains are also flexible adaptable – they can be trained to thrive even in the midst of change.

So what are you most afraid of changing right now? You could fear a new aspect of your job or academic career… You could fear a change in your living environment… You could fear a change in one of your relationships… You could even fear a change in your health – one that could change your quality of life, or one that could mean the end of life. Sometimes, giving in to the fear of change means watching a business or relationship come to an end, or missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. These are the kind of fears that can cause us to miss out on the joys of life lived right now.

So, remember I told you that in college, I hit a point in which I had gone right past fear of failure to full-blown failure. I had hit rock bottom and needed help putting my life back together. I knew the life I was currently living was taking me down a road I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t know how to change course; I was afraid of what that change might look like. For a period of time, I met with a campus counselor I could talk to about some of those negative messages and fears that were swirling around in my mind, in order to figure out how to change them. During that time, she suggested that I also participate in a type of group therapy that used the 12 steps of recovery as a means of helping people learn to deal with life on life’s terms. One of the things I heard in those group meetings was that a lot of people seemed to be stuck in a messy life, but they were terrified of doing life any differently. And so, one of the first steps that each of us had to take was to be able to admit that we were already powerless over our lives, and that our lives had become unmanageable. For most of us, that was an easy one. Next, we were asked to believe or trust in a power greater than ourselves that could restore our lives. To me, I remember feeling like that was wishful thinking, at first. But as I listened to other people describe the differences in their lives since they were able to put their faith in God, I slowly came to believe as well. And I was there for restoration, to put my life back together. That’s what I wanted. But the next part was the hardest. Step 3 says, we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. Turning over our will and our lives; letting go; ready to change… It’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And also, without a doubt, the best!

But – I didn’t do it on my own. First, I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me. I was finally willing to let go of the only way of life I knew because I was ready to accept that there was Another who was ready to catch me, and to pick up the pieces, and show me something better. When Jesus addressed the crowds to tell them not to worry, it wasn’t just a cliché saying, like, “Don’t worry; be happy!” He reminded them that God, the Creator is so in tuned with what each of us needs, that once we tune our wills and lives to the care of God, we will have what we need. He then tells them, “Therefore, stop worrying about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” In other words, live in the present moment. Be in tune with God’s will for right now, and surrender your worry, your imagination, your catastrophizing, your negative messaging, and dwell on God’s presence. “Be still, and know that I am God.”

Mindfulness is a wonderful practice that can help train our brains to accept the reality of what is, instead of dwelling on the 'what if’s' and 'could be’s.' In the book we’ve been using for the basis of this series, United Methodist pastor Adam Hamilton describes it this way:

“So much of the anxiety we experience is a product of bringing the future into the present….We think about what could happen, what might happen. It is like cramming all of this future experience into the present. We don’t allow ourselves any time in the present to feel freedom or joy or to engage meaningfully in our relationships. As a consequence of that we feel anxious, we feel worried, we feel fear. The formal practice of mindfulness is geared toward allowing us to push away the depression or sadness from ruminating on the past, and the worry, fear, and anxiety from thinking about the future, and instead allows us to be engaged in the present moment.” (Hamilton, Adam. Unafraid: Living with Courage and Hope in Uncertain Times. The Crown Publishing Group.)

He goes on to explain that there are also breathing techniques that can help us live in the present. When we get anxious, our breathing becomes shallow and our oxygen intake decreases, which increases our feelings of discomfort or fear about some unpleasant future. Slowing down to breathe not only improves our oxygen intake, but it helps us to become mindful of the present moment. We’re going to try a technique called four-sided breathing, or square breathing. You can stop at any point in the day and try this little exercise:
• Breathe in slowly counting to four.
• Hold your breath to the count of four.
• Exhale slowly, counting to four as you exhale.
• Hold the exhale, lungs empty, to the count of four.

Doing this slows down your breathing. It relaxes your body and focuses your mind on the present moment rather than on a fearful future. It is easy to add meditation and prayer to this practice. You can give thanks or recite encouraging scriptures, like God’s promise we encountered earlier in the series: “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.” Breath prayer, praying one phrase on the inhale, and another on the exhale, is another way of both slowing our breathing and dwelling on God’s promises. You could try phrases from scriptures such as, “The Lord is my Shepherd – I shall not want.” Or “Be still and know – that I am God.” Both of these are ways of seeking, or dwelling on God’s care, and turning your will over to God, so that you can dwell in the truth of now, instead of fearing a future that isn’t here.

For many of us, the change we may fear most is that of aging or dying. It’s a future that is a reality for all of us. Over a year ago, my dad starting having a series of health complications that led to one surgery after another, causing a prolonged hospital stay. And at one point, even though the doctors were confident about his physical progress, my mother noticed his mood changing and realized that he had become so worried about all of the things that could still go wrong, that he had given up on living in the now. He later admitted to my sisters and I that there were a few days when he thought they were his last. You see, my dad was making a huge transition in his life at that time. He had just turned 70, and had made the decision to retire that year. Then, when he experienced a health problem his fears took over. Looking back now, he can see how he let his worries control him. But that doesn’t have to be the case. As we age, as we experience health problems and illnesses, and even as we inevitably face death, we can remember that God is walking with us, that God will never leave us or forsake us, and that God gives us courage and strength.

In Pastor Adam’s book, he recounts the stories of three of his church members, all of whom were facing death because of terminal illnesses. One, a woman who suffered from a debilitating terminal illness that made it difficult for her to speak or move found that the act of praying for each person she encountered in her care center during her final months gave meaning and purpose for life again as she counted each new day a gift from God. She shared with Pastor Adam that she had comfort knowing that after her days on earth, she would be safe in God’s arms. Another was a man named Scott who was diagnosed with ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s disease at age 34. Pastor Adam says, “Scott told me that when he was first diagnosed, he felt his whole world was crumbling. He was angry and afraid, and he wanted to know ‘Why me?’ But soon, he said, ‘I realized that wasn’t going to help anything. I could spend all my time focused on the disease and my disappointment, or I could choose to focus on the things I loved, on the good things—the blessings.’ [His wife] noted, ‘We lived with the motto Live for the now, not putting things off because we didn’t know how much time we had.’” (Hamilton, Adam. Unafraid: Living with Courage and Hope in Uncertain Times. The Crown Publishing Group.) Together with his wife and family, this young man has learned to take life one day at a time, focusing on life in the now, and thanking God for the blessings that come with each new day. The third was a man named Allen, a fellow United Methodist Pastor in the Kansas City Area who, at age 38 is fighting a battle with leukemia. He asked Allen if he’d be willing to share about the fears that he has been dealing with in the face of his illness. Allen shared that there were three main fears he had: the fear of death, the fear of pain, and the fear for his family. He explained that he was afraid not only about the emotional impact his death would have on his parents and his wife, Ashley, but also about mundane things like how his wife would deal with their finances after his death. To deal with his fears, he chose to attack these anxieties with action, such as taking care of his estate and funeral plans, instead of leaving them for his wife; he had conversations with his doctor about his fear of pain, so that he and his doctors could agree on a plan; and he says as for the fear of death itself, his faith has taught him that the last thing is not the worst thing. He has learned to face his fears with faith, releasing his worries and cares to God. And he says that among the things that had brought him peace were prayer and meditation. “He told Pastor Adam, “I have not set aside time to pray—my entire existence is becoming an ongoing prayer, a conversation and togetherness with God that has resulted in a peace that continues to grow.”

Pastor Adam ends this section of his book by writing, “It is remarkable to be in the company of people of deep faith, who, like the apostle, are persuaded that death is not the end of their story. They may still feel the physical and emotional fear that originates in the amygdala, but they are not controlled by that fear. They are, as I’ve used the word throughout this book, unafraid.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.” Those of us who believe that Jesus Christ was himself God in the flesh, and came to show us a perfect love that casts out fear, who believe that even though Jesus was put to death on a cross, his resurrection conquered death and separation from God once and for all, then we have God’s power to face life – and death – with courage and hope. The same God who created light from darkness shines in our lives today, hiding treasure in earthly vessels, and promising all of us an eternal weight of glory beyond measure. Thanks be to God!
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Fear of Failure

2/3/2019

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SCRIPTURE READINGS: Exodus 3:10, 4:13; Joshua 1:1, 5b, 9b; 2 Timothy 1:7
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Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Nick Foles shocked the world last year when he outdueled Tom Brady and led his team to a stunning victory over the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LII (52). Foles was thrust into a leadership role after the star Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz was injured just weeks before the playoffs. Before that, Foles had languished in backup roles in Kansas City and St. Louis. He even contemplated retirement at age 26 before giving football another shot. A reporter asked Foles what he wanted fans to take away from his journey, and his answer is a great lesson on embracing failure:

"I think the big thing is don't be afraid to fail. In our society today — you know, Instagram, Twitter, it's a highlight reel. It's all the good things. And then when you look at it, you think, like, wow, when you have a rough day or your life's not as good as that, you're failing. Failure is a part of life. It’s part of building character and growing. Without failure, who would you be? I wouldn't be up here if I hadn't fallen thousands of times, made mistakes. We all are human. We all have weaknesses. Just be able to share that and be transparent. I know when I listen to people speak and they share their weaknesses, I'm listening. Because I can (relate). So I'm not perfect, I'm not Superman. We might be in the NFL and we might have just won the Super Bowl, but we all have daily struggles. I still have daily struggles. That's where my faith comes in. That's where my family comes in.” (quoted in ftw.usatoday.com)

So on this Super Bowl Sunday, a year after that inspirational speech, we’re going to be considering our own fears of failure, our fears of disappointing ourselves, or others, or even God. As we’ve mentioned over the past few weeks, God created us with these wonderfully complex brains, complete with the ability to alert us to actual danger, sometimes before we can mentally process the situation or physically react. And that’s a good thing, it is meant to keep us safe. But our wonderfully complex brains also have a wonderful imagination that can run away with us over things that have not, and likely will not happen. This is unhealthy fear, and it can keep us from making friends or taking risks, and can sometimes even cause us to behave in a way that is harmful to ourselves or others.

To continue our sports anecdotes for a moment, Michael Jordan, considered one of the best professional basketball players ever, filmed a commercial for Nike where he admitted, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career.  I’ve lost almost 300 games.  26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot…and missed.  I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Wayne Gretzky, leading scorer for the NHL and considered the greatest hockey player ever, famously said, “Only one thing is ever guaranteed, that is that you will definitely not achieve the goal if you don’t take the shot. You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.”

For those of you who couldn’t care less about sports, I’m not leaving you out… J. K. Rowling, author of the wildly popular and beloved children’s book series, Harry Potter, has said, “By every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.” After conceiving the idea for the books, Rowling’s mother died, her marriage ended, and she was left to raise a baby with no job and no family. After struggling with depression, poverty, and numerous setbacks, she eventually finished her first novel, only to be rejected over a dozen times. Her first publication even came with a warning to “get a day job,” because no one thought she could make a living as a children’s writer. But she proved them by becoming one of the best-selling authors of all times! According to Rowling herself, “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.”  

So, what about you? Do you ever fear failure? What kind of impending personal defeat keeps you awake at night? In the past, when the voice in your head said that you should give up, what did you do? Did you take the risk and keep going, or turn back while you still could?

This past fall, we read through the story of Joseph in the Old Testament. One of the youngest of Jacob’s twelve sons, he was the grandson of Isaac and great-grandson of Abraham, to whom God made a promise that if Abraham would pack up everything and trust God, God would lead his family to new land, Canaan, the Promised Land. And God promised to be their God; in return, Abraham promised that his family would be faithful to God. This blessing, or promise was handed down from generation to generation. But remember that at the end of our story of Joseph, his family and all of Abraham’s descendants had been given land in Egypt to come and live in order to escape the seven-year famine that was devastating their land in Canaan.

Fast-forward about 400 years, and the Israelites are no longer guests, but slaves in the land of Egypt. And there grew to be so many Hebrew people that the Pharaoh, who worried about a possible revolt, began having their male children killed. One child named Moses, however, was hidden in the very waters where the Pharaoh’s daughter would be sure to find him, and she raised him as her own. As an adult, Moses begins to feel conflicted about living as a prince while his people are suffering. And you may know the rest of the story – he sees a fellow Hebrew being mistreated by an Egyptian, he gets mad and kills the Egyptian, but hides him, then gets caught, then flees to the hillsides of Midian and becomes a shepherd for about 40 years until one day, God calls to Moses from a burning bush and says, “I have heard the cry of my people who are oppressed in Egypt, and I’m going to rescue them and bring them out of Egypt to a land that is flowing with mild and honey. So get going. I’m sending you to Pharaoh to tell him to let my people go.” So Moses argues with God, and makes excuse after excuse about why he is not the right person for the job. God assures and reassures him that God will be with him, but Moses is consumed with fear, and finally just cuts to the chase, “Please God, just send someone else.” Can you imagine God calling you out of a burning bush, and telling you that out of all the other people on the planet, YOU’re the one person I have chosen for the job. You’re the exact right person for this plan I have, but don’t worry, I’ll be with you! 

I’ve shared with you that it took me many years to believe what I thought God was calling me to do when I began to feel a call to pastoral ministry. I still had a lot of those tapes playing in my head that we’ve talked about in this series. Those voices or messages from my childhood, from the church I grew up in, and from the culture I lived in that made me believe I wasn’t the right person for the job – because of my gender, because of my age, because of my past. I let those false messages get tangled up with my imagination, and it made me afraid. So I took the long road; instead of jumping all in, I tried a year-long Bible study, and then a three-year school for lay ministry, and then I stepped into more leadership roles in ministries in addition to the worship ministry I was leading, and finally, after eight years, I heard more and more of God’s voice of assurance and less and less of those voices and messages that had held me back with fear. Sometimes, instead of saying “no” outright, try a “maybe.” And then engage in prayer and other spiritual practices until you can hear can claim for yourself God’s “yes.”

Last week, we talked about our fear of loneliness and how it can sometimes lead to even more isolation. And we talked about how those between the ages of 11 and 25 are the loneliest generations in American history. There are many things that I think this generation is struggling with today that none of us in previous generations had to deal with; but I’ve noticed that in addition to technology that seems to interfere with personal connections, they also seem to be struggling with unrealistic expectations.

My 18-year-old daughter was willing to share some of her own thoughts about the fears that she and her peers struggle with today. She says that she feels a lot of pressure to not only succeed in her academic work or extra-curricular activities, but to excel! She thinks that there is an unspoken expectation for young people her age to do everything perfectly, so they are chronically worried about making mistakes, or being average. She also says that there is just as much social pressure to meet expectations of others. She explains that there seems to always be a standard of excellence set by the most popular group of peers, and that it is not okay to stand out or be different than the standard that everyone expects. So that leads to an increasing need to change who you are in order to fit in, and a fear that if you are too different, too vulnerable or too much "yourself" that you won't be accepted by your peers.

She also gave me permission to share that in her own life, these pressures led to anxiety, depression, a significant change in sleep, and such a paralyzing fear of failing in school that she began to avoid homework and assignments to the point that she almost did fail. Based on the conversations I've had with other parents, I know that she is not alone. 

I asked her what she most wanted us - the parents, grandparents and members of this faith community - to know about how we can be a source of encouragement and strength for young people. She says the first thing is just to show empathy. She says it helps just to know that there are adults who will say they care about you, even when it feels like you are disappointing them. She also says that young people are already very aware of the ways they are failing, so they don't need more people telling them they are messing up. Instead, she says they need to hear that they are not alone, and that they are still loved in spite of whatever mistakes or struggles they are dealing with. 

I think that we as the church can certainly find ways to show empathy and encouragement to the young people in our midst! And as I said a few weeks ago, all those who are present in our community of faith - including the children and youth - are not the church of tomorrow... they are the church of today! One of the great gifts of a faith community is that we can come together as people of all ages who are all on the same journey together. Some of us may be farther along in our life journey but not as far along in our faith journey, or vice versa. But we have the blessing of finding relationships and courage when we share our experiences with one another. 

You know, Moses eventually did say Yes to God, and went on to become one of the greatest faith leaders of all time! And he had a hand in raising up the next generation of leaders. Joshua had the role of leading the people into Canaan after Moses died. And as he and the Israelites were camped out on the banks of the Jordan river just across from the Promised land, they were very much aware that the people on the other side were much stronger and better protected than their rag-tag army. But in their moment of fear, we read these words, “After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, the Lord spoke to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, saying, '… As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you… Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.'" (Joshua 1:1, 5b, 9b)

Be strong and courageous. The Lord your God is with you wherever you go. We all need to be reminded of these words. We have such a great opportunity to be encouragers to one another. I’ll leave you today with one other quote. The apostle Paul also felt a need to help raise up the next generation of faith leaders, and he wrote to a young disciple named Timothy, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7) This is good news for all of us, and even better news for those outside these walls today, who are living in fear. So who will go tell them? Maybe God is calling you….
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